Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
