if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
