The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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