My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize