Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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