if you like me you must not know who I am
We're facebook friends in real life
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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