Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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