one might say we're banned from that church
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
