he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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