So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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