and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The struggles of a small town man whore
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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