she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
