i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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