Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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