Your tits are I can't wait for
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
