your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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