did you get engaged???
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
