I puked a lego.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
