I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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