I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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