omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
