My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize