what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
