Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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