Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
