I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i've created a new STD.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
