good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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