you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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