She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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