I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
