yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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