If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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