party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
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I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we're so committed to being not committed
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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