Do vagina's smell?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
