Say something about gay babies.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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