butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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