I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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