her vagine was all disorganized.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
