Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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