Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
