The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
