so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
