I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
