I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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