take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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