Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
