I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You need Xanax blowdarts
I can't turn off my feet"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
