You smell like a Billy Joel song
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize