Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
