I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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