Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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