i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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