we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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