Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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