did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
