just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
