Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
