READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
