He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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