so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
