I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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